caught between the sliver of reality and dreams...
But my foot is stuck in the dragon's mouth.
Cos this is my Rant Page and there's nothing you could do about it.
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the silly dance
August 31, 2009It was a roller coaster ride.
Everyone was saying, dont ride it. Dont give it much feelings, dont pour all your soul to it.
But I did. I didnt listen and rode it with all my heart. But like all roller coasters it turns your life upside down. But that was the best I ever felt. If I hadnt given my all to it, If listened, I would not have enjoyed.
So yeah, it was just me and the roller coaster. That is why people cannot ever understand what I felt. What it gave me.
He wasnt a bad guy. He is the best person I know and I ruined the roller coaster. And in the process, I ruined my self Like I always do. If I could only take back everything, I would. If I could only go back in time, Id go back on that Friday night.
I miss my life when I still could dream about him. Miss my life when all the last thoughts before I fall asleep is him smiling at me.
I would give everything just to see that again. Miss my life when I could still hear his voice saying everything wil be alright. I was given something, and I let it slip away.
And I ruined it. I now know. So please, can anyone tell me how to smile again?
Cos even after everything, even if I had pushed him away, he’d still be meine liebe. And that cant be taken away from me. I still love him.
That’s why I’ll never fall in love again.. not for anyone. I guess the saying is right, A great love would knock on your door, and pass you by..
Well, Im coping now. Id look at life and see it as it should be, like how I did with my old self. Without feeling, without remorse, without everything. And people would only see that wall. Nothing else.
Posted by jnienna at August 31, 2009, 11:07 am