But I dont know how else to act, how else to say it.

I fell, and stumbled.

wind breezing thru me, and i know. i have to let go. 

it would cost a good friend... but i feel i would falter if i prolong this misery.

My perpetual misery..

not entirely my favorite month. college, it brings a memory of a undecipherable stupidity, even I cant figure it out.

last year, I have been stolen.  

this year? Agony.

Standing here but can't be moved.. 

I dont like to go back to that same road again where I shall sing songs of Confessions about my heart being stolen.

no more "You have stolen my heart". Not for this.

Or perhaps someday.. it would be the City of Angels.. but I cant go home to that right now.

It's been recently made realized, I might perhaps not be a stone.. but right now, and with that menagerie, I know I cant go on doing that. I know myself. 

curious,

cryptic,

stonehenges.

I feel like im in the desert right now, snowing cold.  I've etched myself deep onto someone else's heart it hurt me deep as well. It hurt to see I hurt him everyday. I want to be more but this is only what I can give.

I want to love but, wishes, I guess do come true. And so tell me,  how can one give love when you regard yourself as an ice burning cinders away. A stone, I once wished I could be, to no longer feel the hurt I once had... I never knew I would only pass it along.

I've forgotton the days... when I've been lost. Then He found me.. Yet I had debt to pay. I knew, and hurts to see that you knew as well, I need to bid my farewell.

You say you understand... I understand as well, when it sinks in, that you will come to hate me.. so blind with it, and I'll know I deserve that, more than the love you give.

Feel this, I place my hands on your face, and I close my eyes.. this is my Sahara, I cannot endure to drag you anymore in these sands...

Goodbye..

++++

I closed my eyes after I've been drained. Stabbed countlessly, I didnt know deception had a face.

You were so, so near, i can almost touch you. But I had never played a game like that before, it was an abyss when I fell. And so I closed my eyes when reality claimed me.

How long has it been since those times? I am thinking exactly a year now. 

I've long closed my eyes, and I'm all drained till now. See, I've been a changed person since then. 

For you to say something once more, it's heaven and hell. I thank that you remember me. 

Yet, you are the constant reminder how much fragile a human can be. How human I was before..

before I became this pulsating stone.

And that was before.

Today, I should be ok. I should be happy now. Such rainbows and flowers; my rays of sunshine.  I am suppose to be living a dream. Happy on my mountain trails, on my latest beach bumming, and for the one who constantly waits for my safe return. I've learned to let go the bittersweetness of it, else I'd be consumed endlessly by hate.

I think, I can now live alongside of this, of the past and memories.

I appreciate you remembered. Glad that you drop by.

I've always seen myself as someone who had bloomed late.. as I have lived my early life by the book - obeying my parents as much as possible, having no "gimik" life during my student days, a benevolent wallflower (tho people who know me by glance wouldnt say that of me nowadays), or having my life ruled by the grades I should get next on that report or class card.. till I graduated.

And well, I've loved reading books.. ever since my mama bought me that Nancy Drew pocketbook - about this silver persian cat with the violet paperback cover, if I remember it right. I've been an addict ever since. Nancy Drew to Hardy Boys to Sidney Sheldon to John Grisham to Anne Rice to Tolkien. From there, I've read quite a lot - tho i can only but name a few love themed books I've read, never was a fan of something mushy and gushy.

Now I've just finished my nth. The Blood of Flowers.

And with evevry book I read, I live it. I feel as tho im part of it. No matter what and where I felt it. And so now I carry the burden of Maheen's daughter, the heroin of the book. Set in the 17th century Persian culture,the words sewn by the author was very much fitted for a modern day audience. But it was ok. I was still drawn to the simplicity of how everything was written.

And so now I feel her depression, her anguish, her desperation.. I've long finished the book hours ago yet i still feel its entrails inside me. I guess you can say its a good book. But with every book I read, I seem to see myself suffering the same.

Maybe I should try to do a review..

So as I cover my explanation letter with butterflies and kisses and flowers, I suddenly went limp. Like the 3-legged dog that I was. And I felt I drained everything. 

From a slave to a robot.

Tyler Durden // mischief.mayhem.soap

You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Narrator: I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.

Tyler Durden: Where'd you go, psycho boy?

Narrator: I felt like destroying something beautiful.

Marla Singer // mischief.mayhem.soap

You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole. Is this a pretty accurate description of our relationship, Tyler?

[after taking a bottle of sleeping pills] This isn't a real suicide-thing. This is probably one of those cry-for-help things.

Charly Baltimore //

It ain't over. You're going to die screaming... and I'm going to watch. Am I telling the truth?

[Caitlin and Charly are locked in a fridge.]

Caitlin Caine: Mommy, am I gonna die?

Charly Baltimore: Oh, no, baby. No, you're not gonna die. They are.

[Charly strikes a match to light a gasoline stream.]

Charly Baltimore: Cover your ears. Hey! Should we get a dog?

Mitch Henessey: So, you cold?

Charly Baltimore: Yeah. Freezing.

Mitch Henessey: Turn on the heat. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise — distracts from the cold.

Charly Baltimore: Easy, sport. Got myself out of Beirut once, I think I can get out of New Jersey.

Mitch Henessey: Yeah, well don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact.

Mitch Henessy

I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill.

I ain't handsome, I ain't rich, and the last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel.

Don Vito Carleon

I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.

Hans Solo

May the Force be with you.

Kat Stratford

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big, dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

Dr. Stratford: Hello Katarina. Make anybody cry today?

Kat: Sadly no, but it's only 4:30.

Dr. Stratford: That's my girl.

Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.

I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time. 

Bianca Stratford

Can we, for two seconds, ignore the fact that you're severely unhinged and discuss my need for a night of teenage normalcy? 

Hit-Girl

Ok you cunts, lets see what you can do now...

Kick-Ass: What about money? You've got to think long term...

Hit-Girl: I've got 3 million in a suitcase. Is that long term enough for you?

(I need to go now at this time so I'm gonna put more next time)

I've thought about writing this article for quite sometime now, and finally, here it is – My chosen ass-kickin’ Femme Fatales that rocked the silver screen, from the 70’s and the ones that made it to the theaters just last week.. and I think you know what I’m talking about.

I've seen lots of movies of such genre and would be quite unfair if I dont include some characters that didnt make the cut for the list that I originally intended, but nevertheless deserves to be on the Femme Fatales List. I am going to categorize these characters into three groups and then you tell what differences each category has from the other. Do take note that the characters here are from action based movies who actually did some action. So even if Megan Fox in Transformers could have fit the bill, her driving of Bumblebee around is not enough. Nu-uh.

So ok, the characters here are not ranked accordingly, but just placed randomly. They may not be from critically acclaimed movies and some are just hmm well, of my term just Hollywood-ishly commercial, and some might be well, not so good at their acting, BUT  if not for the lady who starred in it, would have been a complete dud even with a sky-rocket-high film budget (need not say the title cos I will repeat this line-ha!). Some may not approve of this list, some may go with it, some may half contest it, but keber! Aketch na list ito and I have my own criteria why these girls made my cut. Cos for one, they just ooze with such undeniable sex appeal, but credible enough to make you not mess and be on the wrong side of these women. Oh, but not everyone are in the good side tho. ;)

warning: Some inputs about the character/s contains spoiler information. But heck, only Iron Man 2 here is the latest. So read everything up and then go find and watch these films if you still hadnt!

==Dangerous Curves==

Alice - Resident Evil film series (2002, 2004, 2007, 2010)
Violet Song Jat Shariff - Ultraviolet (2006)
Undeniably, the model-singer-actress Milla Jovovich awed us with her cunning moves in these adrenaline-rushing movies. Everytime she appears in a yet another film, I cant help but notice how her acting goes up a notch. Specially with the Alice role, I would never have imagine another actress who could have delivered such impact as she does. Some may say I should add Leeloo (The Fifth Element) in this, but I am only being fair  as I have not yet seen the movie so I cannot just add it - but my bet is I would if I had seen it.

 Agent Romanova a.k.a Black Widow - Iron Man 2 (2010)
The last movie I had seen where Scarlette acted, was in The Other Boleyn Girl. So imagine my surprise when I saw her make those moves in her latest film, the Iron Man 2 (which I think barely gets away with the production, even on the CGI effects I daresay - that first Monte Carlo car crash is simply a hideous disgrace). From a prim and proper Elizabethan era Lady to a very deadly Russian S.H.I.E.L.D. undercover agent. I was not a big fan of Scarlette.. till she became the Black Widow. My two cent's worth? Iron Man 2 is worth watching just to see how gooood her fight choreography here is. 

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider film series (2001)
Fox  - Wanted (2010)
Julia Russell - Original Sin (2001)
Jane Smith - Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
Lisa Rowe - Girl Interrupted (1999)
Amelia Donaghy - The Bone Collector (1999)
Gia Marie Carangi- Gia (1997)
" 'Nuff said " if I am to quote on of Stan Lee's dialogue. Just with the Croft name alone, need I say more. As if the Magnums werent enough, she goes on to being the top female lethal spy and then topnotchin it with a Bullet-curving assassin, trainor on a train. So maybe perhaps I am being biased, cos maybe Angelina is just simply at the top of my list when it comes to movies, or the bad-ass attitude. So maybe yes, I simply have to put all the names of the characters of the movies I soooo love. So maybe that's the reason why I didnt rank my list cos I would put her on the Number 1 spot and then the rest all goes on equal footing. And I guess that aint right eh? But heck, this is my blog. She's simply the epitome of the Chick with the Big Guns, the Moves, Seductive beauty influxed with the perfect badass attitude. Even if Tomb Raider would have been flushed down the toilet considering how disappointing the film is, it wouldnt be worth watching if not for Angelina being Lara Croft. So going back to the topic, I need not say more - she's Angelina.

Oboro - Shinobi: Heart Under Blade (2005)
With her Eye of Destruction, look at her or not, there's no escape encountering her wrath. One of my favorite  Ninja-genre movies, Yukie Nakama does a spectacular performance as Oboro to which people who have seen this movie would definetly agree with me. For people whose passion involves watchin movies that has subtitles in it, this is a must see!

Abigail Whistler - Blade Trinity (2004)
I dont now if I am to love her or to hate her, she's my age and who wouldnt be envious of Jessica Biel? Well the 'Hate her' is spawned from the green-eyed devil inside me so shrugging that aside, she's just perfect opposite Blade. Even with an exercised-muscular-physique, she still gets away with it and look very very sexy indeed unlike some actresses who works out like that ending up looking like a man with a beautiful feminine face. That's just bad.

Xenia Sergeevna Onatopp - GoldenEye (1995)
I know there's Jean Grey, but I just cant make myself to include Jean in this list. Famke's role as the Russian bloodthirsty henchwoman however, deserves to be recognized. It's her 50-ish hairdo, the ultrared lipstick, her AK 74's, and her getting orgasm as she does her scissor-kill. As what wiki says about the Xenia role - "It's the classic representation of femme fatale."

Selene - Underworld film series (2003, 2006)
Carrie Stetko - WhiteOut (2009)
Whether on she's on ice assigned-to-south pole or she's ice-cold fanged royalty, people can't get enough of Kate Beckinsale. She can be sweet and serendipitous at one movie but can quickly transform into someone entirely opposite. Tho I love her role in Underworld, Whiteout didnt deliver as to what the original graphic novel did. 

Selina Kyle aka Catwoman - Batman Returns (1992)
Although Halle Berry did a sexy version of the stand-alone movie as catwoman, I would still place my bet on Michelle Pfeiffer's delivery and acting opposite Michael Keaton. However long ago it was, who would forget her "cartwheeling across the street towards Batman and Penguin, her "Meow" dialogue followed by the explosion" scene, she walking while whip-lashing counting the shots as she is being gunned and the electrifying (literally!) kiss she gave to Christopher Walken when she finally reached him. But above all, its her acting that could upstage the these scenes. I dont know about you but as Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle, the audience could really feel the tension, the chemistry that the couple eminates - just like their dance when she suddenly realizes that the person she's falling in love with, is actually her nemesis.

Coffy - Coffy (1973)
Prior to writing, I've done research as to who people thinks are the top action kick-ass female characters. I've suddenly became intrigues that almost all, would include Pam Grier, either her Coffy or Foxy Brown role. Curious, I watched Coffy, and I was not disappointed. The movie has a really curious beginnings as to why the movie came about and a lot more interesting story. This can be consider a ST movie of their time with the "buttons always flying as guys ripped open the blouses and eventually emphasizes Pam Grier's well-endowed front." It's like, it's imperative that for every 10 minutes a set of breasts are exposed, or that some guy is putting their hands on them for the men at the audience to ogle at. But well, the scenes compliment the plot I guess. It does has a good viable story with the very voluptous Pam Grier that could give Beyonce a run for her money!
Charly Baltimore - Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
The sole, sole reason why I became inspired to write this whole shit, and it wasnt Angelina Jolie. Needless to say that Long Kiss Goodnight is a favorite of mine, Geena Davis, here, just rocked the whole place and crumbled everything. She's the classic example of Brains and beauty (as wiki put it: a member of  American Mensa, the society of persons with IQs in the statistical top 2%, with an IQ of 140). As to her Charly role, (spent long minutes coming up with the right description for her cos I was afraid that I would do injustice and under-rate her role, so in short at loss for the thought of better words) hmmmm she just rocked the whole place and crumbled everything. There I think thats ok. I really really love this movie. The flambouyance of Mitch Hennessy,  the banters and dialogue "quotable quotes" exchange, that deadly sneer of Charly only Davis could have delivered. As like what my former office-mate slash friend Greyz said a long time ago when the first installment of Bourne Identity was shown: "Bourne Identity? Three words lang, Long Kiss Goodnight." Now I want to watch it again!
Ai Lin - So Close (2002)
Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you are near... Shu Qi, wears the role and the clothes well, not them wearing her. She doesnt even need the weapons - she's the perfect killing machine. And i wouldnt even put Karen Mok along side her, tho the latter's elevator fight is very very good that it burns inside your mind. Makes one want to learn martial arts and do that air split whenever one rides an elevator! So ok, going back. The intro ceiling spiking Prada boot fight scene alone, it automatically creates commotion that you just have to see the entire film. Tho it could setback as an overly-emotional than needed (as what is more often than not found in Asian films), I still rank So Close as one of my fave chick action flick. For me, the highlight of the movie isnt where Zhao Wei and Karen Mok was taking revenge and setting things right; the highlight was the Basement Parking Fight scene between the cop and the assasin.
Onigen - Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)
First seeing her as Taka in The Last Samurai, Koyuki had become one of my favorite Asian actresses since then. Tho there's no way we cannot put Taka under this category, her being Onigen however commands a very demanding presence for it. That for me, she out-shadowed Gianna Jun, the lead role. She's one of those few actresses that immediately fills the room, the scene and you cant deny yourself to watch her all the more, cos like I say she has this demanding presence. Well, she has very very very beautiful face but its Koyuki as an outstanding actress that burns in you.
Kagero - Shinobi: Heart Under Blade (2005)
The literal Femme Fatale. One kiss and you're dead. Adorning a very seductive kimono and having a milky-white skin complexion which accentuates her pouty red lips.. Men would simply go gaga and want to have her... their own deadly demise. And Tomoka Kurotani delivered this role very very gracefully.

Wai Lin - Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Yu Shu Lien - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Of the countless movies Michelle made, I chose this one cos I just love James Bond movies and well, she does a very unique-not your typical Bond Girl. She tops the 25 Best Heroine List of Rotten Tomatoes and I think she deserves that above all. Doing her own stunts, Pierce Brosnan even reffered her the female James Bond. Now it got me wondering, what would it be like if she had accepted and taken on the role of Seraph?

Aeon Flux - Aeon Flux (2005)
Aeon Flux. Again, Aeon Flux. Tho Charlize Theron only wore once the original Aeon Flux costume as her sleeping wardrobe (where she caught the fly with her eye), she still sizzled in every scene. Talk about walking chin up with the attitude and grace only a woman could show. Some strict-to-the-pages critics may regard the movie as unreligious and a disgrace to its origin (as to what doom that befalls each movie that was based from a comics or graphic novel or a favorite anime/cartoon), I still think she owned it. I read that Michelle Rodriguez was considered but I am glad Theron got the part, I dont think that Michelle could deliver the seductive part that demands the Aeon role which Charlize so effortlessly did.
Carolina - Desperado / Once Upon a Time in Mexico
There's the Wild Wild West, and there's the  Santanica Pandemonium role which I dont think people can easily forget. Salma Hayek exudes the exotic and erotic especially in that accent in a way no one can best her.

Elle Driver aka California Mountain Snake - Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 (2003, 2004)
Who could deny that Daryl Hannah is one sexy and derranged bloodthirsty chick? Quetin certainly knows how to choose his actors well. Daryl I think out-shone her female colleauges mainly because she is Elle Driver, donning that unforgettable improvised Nurse outfit with that badass injection.

  Susan Storm aka Invisible Girl - Fantastic Four film series (2005, 2007)
Almost forgetting this character, Jessica Alba did quite a stir portraying Sue.Perhaps its because she's invisible. lol

Others whom I think worth mentioning in this category because it's:

     

Agent Ajedrez - Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)
Eva Mendez

Catherine Tramell - Basic Instinct (1992)
Sharon Stone. Best interrogation-lie detecting scene ever shown in film. Ever.

Sil - Species (1995)
Natasha Henstridge

Jen - Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Zhang Ziyi

Liz Sherman - Hellboy film series (2004, 2008)
Selma Blair

Helen Tasker - True Lies (1994)
Jamie Lee Curtis. Her role never ceases to amuse me!

O-Ren Ishii aka Cottonmouth - Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 (2003, 2004)
Lucy Liu. And she does not go around just flippin hairs.
 
Claire Redfield - Resident Evil film series (2007, 2010)
Ali Larter. And I cant wait for to see that Executioner fight scene!

Sonja - Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)
Rhona Mitra

Storm - X-Men film series (2000, 2003, 2006)
Halle Berry. You cant just beat that. It's the perfect, perfect Storm.

Miho - Sin City (2005)
Kasumi - D.O.A. (2006)
Devon Aoki. Unfortunately for the flop movies, she's still great. Tho without guns, she did kick some guys asses with that hot pink smokin car of hers in the Fast and the Furious second installment.

Charlene Ching - Naked Weapon (2002)
Maggie Q.

Zin - Chocolate (2008)
Ammara Siripong. The first time I've seen her its just wow for me. She jumps from the scene with that outrageously big Flower Brooch while gunning down someone - the perfect Yakuza/Gang goddess.

(have pictures of the others but im too tired to lazy to edit them as they dont appear right.)

==Tough as Nails==
Here are those I cannot bring myself to include in the first category. Like I said, you take the last say as to why.

Ellen Ripley - Aliens film series (1979, 1986, 1992)
You cannot deny Sigourney Weaver the right to not be in the Femme Fatale, hence the Tough as Nails category.

Sarah Connor - Terminator 2 (1991)
Linda Hamilton. My bet above all the Sarah Connors.

Leticia "Letty" Ortiz - Fast and the Furious (2001, 2009)
Chris Sanchez - S.W.A.T. (2003)
Rain Ocampo - Resident Evil (2002)
Trudy Chacon - Avatar (2009)
Michelle Rodriguez. I need to include all of those roles, she really embodied each and everyone one of them.

Nikita - Nikita (1990)
Anne Parillaud. Period.

Beatrix Kiddo aka Black Mamba / The Bride - Kill Bill Vol. 1 &2 (2003, 2004)
Uma Thurman. Hanzo sword, Blood, and Gore.  tsk, you just dont mess with her.

Trinity - Matrix film series (1999, 2003)
Carrie-Anne Moss.

Elektra - Elektra (2005)
Jennifer Garner.



==Out of Bubblegum Burst==

Azumi - Azumi film series (2003, 2005)
Jap-Pop princess  Aya Ueto turned sword wielding raised and breathed to be an assasin for

Kozue - Azumi 2: Death or Love (2005)
Gogo Yubari - Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)
Chiaki Kuriyama. Whatever movie she acts in, lol you sure can expect the highschoolish smoldering crazy bitch attitude. Shame tho that both her death sc     enes were lame. But just added more grace to the film.

Hotubari - Shinobi: Heart Under Blade (2005)
Erika Sawajiri.. aww butterflies.

Saya - Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)
Gianna Jun. We all loved her in My Sassy Girl and Windstruck, about some time she seriously kick ass

Eui-jin - Arahan (2004)
Yoon So-Yi. 

Zen - Chocolate (2008)
Yanin Vismistananda. No stunt double for this Thai Girl. Nu-uh. One of my fave action films, and you have to watch as the credits roll -just like with Jackie Chan movies, catch the drift?

Now, If I had forgotten someone, I would greatly appreciate it, and will add 'em up if I've seen the movie and or I like the character. Putting them all together is one damn arduous task!

Next stop, the boys and men who makes my list! Johnny Depp, Jet Li, Tony Leung to name the tops!

:D